Christmas With the Family… Politics: 8 Tricks To Get Out of The First Time

Political conversations? Couples that disappear in the kitchen? Do you ask about your uncertain future? Here are all the solutions to survive the fire test

For everything there is a first time. Also at Christmas: the first time the Kings made their own, the first year-end party and, of course, the first Christmas in the family… politics. Everything may go well and, as in my personal case, we give wonderful and welcoming people – this is very important to make it clear: I LOVE YOU -, but it may also be that the in-laws and the rest of the prole in law make things difficult for us. In any case, the truth is that that first contact, that first peeled shrimp in public and even that “more wine yes or more wine no”, always suppose a considerable anxiety generator the days before.

1. Perfect guest

Good education is the best tradition and, for a lunch, dinner, birthday or domestic invitation, you should never show up empty-handed. So it starts with the right foot and, above all, with good wine. Sweets are also good, but think that on an occasion like this you have to go three steps ahead: maybe someone has been preparing dessert all afternoon and we don’t want to ruin Christmas for anyone. Bet on the safe and surprise with a wine, cava or champagne. But be careful, in the balance is the key: neither vinacho, no excesses. The goal is to always be what I call the DD: detached but discreet.

2. Under no circumstances leave the group.

Nature is wise and that’s why in the face of a predator the gazelles run in a group. So remember: tonight you’re the one who doesn’t want to be the lame gazelle.Leaving the group implies personal contact with people with whom, surely, your oenological gift will take its toll: monosyllabic answers as a result of panic, deslengued monologues as a result of wine… The situation can go wrong in many different ways, so internalize it now: three are a crowd and also your lifeline tonight.

3. Plan an offensive in advance

So far we have not talked about a key and comforting point: you are not alone. Your partner will be your best ally or, at least, your best hostage. In my humble experiences as a guest at the house of the couples in question, however, I have detected a pattern: as soon as they cross the threshold of the door, their nature leads them to relax and forget that you have not been there before. Suddenly you are a real gladiator alone in the ring while (in my case, they) get lost in the fridge, get stuck with the cousin on duty or, directly, sit on the couch to watch the cell phone because there is no kind of commitment to which they feel obliged to respond. Suddenly there you are guiding the conversation about how much you love your son while, ironically, you curse a large part of the family of that absorbed Satan’s son on Twitter. Don’t let it happen and make it clear what your roles are before you arrive.

4. Good son, bad son

This brings us to the next point: up to what level can the couple be made green in front of family members? The years have also tanned me in the difficult art of the hurtful coke and the rule I have been able to extract is the following: if your partner is a boy, you must praise him in the presence of his mother and join the crack in the presence of the father. And vice versa in the case of girls, that is: complicit mother, protective father. Internalize the rule: stepping outside this terrain can be dangerous.

5. A good defense can be the best attack.

The questions you don’t want to hear are as immovable from the Christmas menu as the nougat and the first step is to accept it. Whatever your phase, there will be an uncomfortable question: weddy? children? do I work? Take advantage and be the one to question: do you practice any sport? Do you have vacations in sight? When can I get away from here? Everything goes as long as they don’t counterattack. Everyone likes to feel that others are interested in their life and, as long as you are not the impertinent one, you will have the interrogation by the horns.

6. He eats everything

Nothing is more detestable than a person who disgusts food. You may never have eaten that meatloaf or venison stew in your house, but everything is VERY GOOD here. Eat everything they put on your plate and, if there really is something you can’t stand, hide as much as possible. It’s not about destroying, but it’s about showing that you’re delighted with everything that’s going on there. And that includes, of course, food.

7. This will also happen (or the Interstellar phenomenon)

As in Christopher Nolan’s movie, the space-time relationship can be affected at the house of the in-laws. That is to say: an hour on the ground can be equivalent to seven years in that house. Therefore, try not to look at the clock and immerse yourself in the honeys of the crazy. A trick I learned a long time ago is that the worst moments bring out the best stories, focus on how fun it will be to tell after you had to hide food in a pot and, above all, that, even though it seems otherwise, this will also happen.

8. The good side of things

And, finally, try not to focus only on the bad. Each family is different and, maybe you would not have José Mota’s program on during dinner or you would not have brought out the theme of Catalonia to liven up the desserts, but there are always fun moments and, above all, think that you can always claim revenge when it’s your turn to play at home.