Gambling

An an investigation into gambling. From bets between friends to isolation, from lies to fear.

George (not his real name) had never been a liar. He’d never had the habit of lying, not to his parents or his girlfriend. Sincere as he’d always been throughout his young life, George began lying constantly, about everything, “even when,” he told me during a long conversation, “it wouldn’t have been necessary. I no longer lied just to hide what I was up to, I lied automatically. The lies came out of nowhere, piled up on top of others, and seemed like the only option available, a choice that, however, made me unhappy and made me feel incredibly ashamed.”

George began lying when gambling and betting entered his life. His story, as often happens, happened quickly: “It all started as a game, with my lifelong friends, with whom I started going to betting shops to place betting slips. We’d bet one or two euros each, hoping for a big win, and that was it. Until I discovered you could also gamble online, on a variety of platforms. I was immediately drawn into it: in no time, I set up an online account, to which I loaded more and more money to recoup all the losses I’d made in the past few days. Little by little, I intensified my betting, until, within four months, it became a daily activity, to which I had become addicted and aware of it. But the awareness brought with it shame and guilt, and so I hid everything from everyone for almost a year.”

George’s appetite for gambling led him to broaden his scope, and so, alongside sports betting, he expanded to include virtual matches (computer simulations of sporting events like soccer, tennis, and horse racing, streamed for the sole purpose of attracting wagers), and finally online casino games, designed to keep users hooked for hours on end. 
Camilla Ciliberti , psychologist, psychotherapist, and contact for the 
gambling addiction service at 
Niguarda Hospital in Milan , confirms that in Italy, “the age at which people start gambling quite frequently has decreased. And even when it comes to the onset of gambling as a pathology, today we see very young people, sometimes even minors, arriving with significant impairments in their functioning.” Ciliberti, who is supporting George in his recovery from addiction, finds his story emblematic: “The pattern is very often this: it starts with friends, you go and play your first bets, then someone breaks away from the group and starts playing alone, and slowly life begins to revolve around these moments, until they become the center of everything. And this is how the vicious cycle begins: playing helps you not think, gives the illusion of regulating difficult emotions and finding refuge from loneliness. But it’s exactly the opposite: and this is where clinical work (or specialized training) becomes crucial to raise awareness, remove stigma, but above all, to help you understand what’s happening inside you (to find more effective ways to manage it).”

The figures relating to gambling addiction in EU are stark: the 2025 Black Book on Gambling, confirms the existence of an European Union anomaly in Europe. We are the country where the purchasing power of income from work and pensions has declined the most, yet we have become the most important gambling market in Europe, and among the largest in the world. The overall loss of Italians to gambling (€21 billion) is the largest in Europe, higher than that of the United Kingdom and far behind Germany and France (€14 billion). Camilla Ciliberti estimates that in Lombardy, approximately 60,000 people are involved in gambling, a portion of whom are pathological, and adds that “this alarming figure is compounded by the fact that the people who come seeking help are often only a few thousand, or about 6% of the total number of those who may have a gambling problem. Still too few.” George, unlike many who struggle with addiction for years before finally making the effort to reach out and reach for the hand that can save them, asked for help quickly.

The key word for him was “fear,” a feeling that dragged him far away from where it all began. “The first phase,” he says, “of playing betting slips with friends was all about fun, adrenaline, and anticipation. Later, when I found myself playing alone online, I began to feel a bit of shame, mild at first, because the stakes were still around €10 or €20 a go. Then, when I started working and started receiving my first paychecks, I started playing a lot. Sometimes even all my earnings. At that point, 
I was filled with guilt, but then fear also set in. Fear that someone would find out, fear of not being able to get out .” This initially trapped George in a hellish loop: “I didn’t have relationships with anyone, because I was afraid of being discovered. I didn’t see my friends anymore, I lied to my family. I also had a girlfriend, we were fond of each other, but at a certain point, it’s horrible to say, I preferred gambling to being with her. We ended up breaking up, but I never had the courage to talk to her about my addiction.”

Progressive isolation from social and friendship environments , as well as a loss of interest in previously exciting activities, are signs to watch out for if you suspect someone, especially a minor, is developing a problem. So is the uncontrolled use of devices. Ciliberti explains that “since Covid, there has been a surge in online gambling. And the smartphone becomes the tool that allows for a whole series of activities that amplify each other. For example, a young person might bet on a game, the bet goes badly, and then buy something online to console themselves, or they might access a porn site for the same reason, or they might gamble again. There’s a phenomenon of excitement, of continuous amplification. And when it comes to very young people, it would be crucial for parents to try to pause and understand what’s happening, whether money is missing from the prepaid card, or whether there’s any unusual behavior. We need to find a middle ground between protection and allowing our children some freedom. My 
advice is to avoid implementing hidden forms of control, such as checking chats and device history without disclosing it, because these are often counterproductive. Instead, it would be best if any restrictions were agreed upon. That is, let’s define the rules together—those you can accept and those we as parents consider necessary—and, once established, let’s address this situation together. Let’s engage each other, to avoid a problem or resolve it.

According to Ciliberti, sometimes setting a limit can be crucial to 
encouraging a request for help: “Telling a child ‘we can no longer help you financially, cover your losses, continue to give you money because you can’t make ends meet, but we can support you in seeking help from a specialist’ is crucial.” However, it should be remembered that this is a specific issue, so even when organizing the search for help, it’s important to consult with professionals specialized in addictions. As George did, fortunately for him relatively early on, when the castle of lies finally collapsed. “I had enrolled in university, I told my parents I was taking exams, but it wasn’t true. I had enrolled in driving school, and I said I had passed the theory test, but it wasn’t true. Eventually they realized it, they confronted me with my lies, and I broke down. So I told them everything. And together we turned to specialists. It was the best thing I ever did, and also the most difficult, because at first I was very skeptical, and even a little scared. Then, little by little, I began to trust myself and now I’m very happy because I can say I’ve gotten over it, and I no longer think obsessively about gambling.”

My final question to George, who stopped betting and gambling months ago, concerns the “normalization” of gambling in our country, with commercials everywhere (and featuring very famous testimonials) promoting it: “It’s the fundamental problem,” he explains, “because it all starts there. My group of friends and I also started at a very young age, following the influencer of the moment who promoted betting and games as a quick and ‘safe’ way to make money. And instead, it’s a surefire way to become fragile, extremely fragile, fake, because you want people to believe that everything is fine even when you’re desperate, and even a little mean.”

Camilla Ciliberti concludes by highlighting one of the specifics of this addiction , “which,” she explains, “is based on a very powerful mechanism: intermittent reinforcement. This manifests itself like this: at first, you almost always win, because these sites are designed to lure you in and keep you there through victory. This gives rise to the idea of ​​’so I can always win.’ And so you continue. Then the on/off phase begins, in which you win a little and lose a little, and then the intermittent reinforcement kicks in, making you keep going, because you remember that sooner or later you’ll get back on a winning streak. And this keeps you glued there, waiting for your moment, the big win. Which, spoiler alert, never comes. Instead, comes the addiction, the cognitive distortion (where, for example, some people even think they can influence the outcome of games), and the complete loss of the ability to stop.”

Dangerous games

Italy is Europe’s leading gambling market. In 2024, Italians lost €21 billion, more than the United Kingdom, Germany, and France. Online gambling is growing especially strongly, exceeding €100 billion in gambling revenue in 2025 (+221% compared to 2018). According to the National Institute of Health, 1.5 million adults suffer from gambling addiction. Between the ages of 11 and 17, 23.4% gamble regularly, and 3.9% are considered “problem gamblers,” meaning they are at risk of addiction.