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If you feel anxious before engaging in anal sex or your sex life in general, some things you can do to prepare yourself to feel more relaxed include: taking a warm bath or shower beforehand, breathing techniques, and avoiding a large meal within an hour or two after sex. These things can also help you relax before having other types of sex.
Taking a warm bath or shower can help relieve tension and also make you feel better.
It’s also important to set boundaries with someone you’re having any sex with for the first time. Before exploring anal play with a new partner, communicate that you want to start slowly, communicate likes and dislikes as well as pressure and sensations.
There are several reasons why you may experience pain during anal sex. Here’s what you need to pay attention to to enjoy it.
Skip the preliminaries
Lack of foreplay and proper blood flow can make anal painful and much more difficult. The genital area fills from front to back, so plenty of foreplay is needed to get adequate blood flow to the area and be ready for penetration.
You don’t use lubricant
It is always important to use lube during anal play. Unfortunately, our anus does not lubricate itself naturally. This is why lube is essential. Not using anal lube can lead to pain for both donor and recipient. If you use lube and still feel pain, you can always use numbing lube or anal lube.
You don’t relax
The anal sphincter (the muscles around the anal cavity) must be relaxed for penetration to occur. Take deep breaths and stimulate other erogenous zones, such as the clitoris and nipples, so you can focus on pleasure and relax.
You don’t change angles
Make sure the penetrator is in a comfortable position (doggy style or on your side often works well) and supported by pillows, and that the penetrator approaches gently, allowing the receptive person to set the pace.
Remember that the area is sensitive. The tissue lining inside the anus is thinner and more sensitive than that of your vagina, so it’s important to go slowly, especially the first few times. A little discomfort may be normal, but if there is constant pain, you should stop to avoid injury.
You are not relaxing
No matter how you start, take your time when experimenting. You want to be careful not to damage or tear your anus. You can try sex toys like wedges. Sex toys like this are perfect for practicing stretching to the desired size.