Paige DeSorbo and the Art of Radical Relatability

When the 32-year-old Bravo personality split from her longtime boyfriend and spoke openly about anxiety and fertility, she became a figurehead for young women choosing themselves. And—with a successful podcast, a new book, and a top-secret fashion line on the way—it’s paying off.

If you’re reading this, you probably already know who DeSorbo is. But if you don’t watch Bravo, never listen to podcasts, could care less about fashion, and purposefully tune out pop culture, here’s an abridged introduction. The Albany-born television personality has been on Bravo’s rosé-soaked unscripted series Summer House for seven seasons and has masterfully used the platform as a career launchpad in a way that few reality stars have been able to and that feels much bigger than brand deals and posting spon-con.

That’s not to say that DeSorbo hasn’t done her fair share of influencer work—she got her start on Bravo, after all—but during the past year, she’s embarked on a nationwide tour of her popular podcast Giggly Squad, which she cohosts with former Summer House castmate and best friend Hannah Berner. Together, they’ve sold out Radio City Music Hall (among other venues), were chosen to host Vanity Fair’s Oscar Party livestream, and wrote a book, How to Giggle: A Guide to Taking Life Less Seriously, out now. She’s also been hard at work on a top-secret clothing brand, coming this summer.

And there was the breakup with her boyfriend of three years, fellow Bravo star Craig Conover, the demise of which was documented on camera and became a fixation of gossip sites like Deuxmoi and reality TV Reddit subs. When DeSorbo announced the split on an episode of Giggly Squad in December, Bravo fans—whose parasocial relationship with their reality stars is unmatched—were devastated.

But watching the season back now, DeSorbo is proud of the work she’s done both on and off camera to speak her truth, confront her anxiety, re-examine past beliefs, and more than anything, prioritize herself. And any viewers who doubted her decision back in December can’t help but cheer DeSorbo on today.

Now DeSorbo is ready to talk about it all. She greets me at the door of her Upper West Side apartment with a hug and we flop onto her lush beige couch that could seat 12 people comfortably. Her emotional-support Stanley cup is within arm’s reach, a cashmere throw is nearby, and her cat Daphne is curled up in the windowsill. DeSorbo is not going anywhere.

Glamour: You’ve built your brand, Giggly Squad, on the basis of female friendships, a sort of Sex and the City for today’s young women. Your best friend is your cohost, and the podcast’s bread and butter is talking about the same things we do with our friends over brunch. Did you always understand the power of female friendship?

Paige DeSorbo: There was definitely an “aha” moment after I graduated college and was in the real working world, where I really appreciated going to an all-girls high school. I don’t think I realized while I was in high school how beneficial it was to just be around women for all those years.

As soon as you get your first job, you start getting questions about who you’re going to marry. We’re going out on the weekends and looking for husbands. Men never have that conversation. They’re never like, “I’m going out this weekend with my boys to find my wife.” Never in my 32 years have I heard a man ever say that. But it’s kind of programmed into us women. I didn’t realize that I was speaking for a generation on national television, being like, “I’m not ready to get married and have a baby.” It’s almost, like, one of the worst things you can say as a woman, because it’s like, “Well, no, we’ve programmed you since birth for that to be your next step.”

But if you really sit back and look, so many couples end up getting divorced. So are you really not going to focus on your female friendships for a guy when it might not even work out?

I didn’t go to an all-girls high school, but I went to an all-girls sleepaway camp every summer, so I can relate to being in that safe, protected space. I met some of my best friends there. We were always so silly and gross, and we didn’t care about any external pressures. We were fully our true selves.

It obviously depends on the child, but my mom knew that an all-girls school would be beneficial for me. In those formative years, you’re not worried that if you get the answer wrong, or if your crush sitting next to you is going to think you’re dumb. It’s not even a thought that goes through your mind. You’re not showering, you’re not wearing makeup to class. And if you do, it’s because you genuinely wanted to put makeup on for yourself.

I know several women who have stayed in relationships that they knew weren’t right because they felt that they were up against a ticking clock. What did it take for you to end a relationship that you knew wasn’t right?

One of the things that I always think is crazy is that if you said, “I’m going to wait to be a little more qualified before I go for this job,” people would be like, “That’s smart, she’s got a good head on her shoulders.” But if you say, “I’m going to wait to have a baby so that I can be a better mom as I get older and have learned more,” it’s always taken as a negative. People are like, “Oh my God, she’s having a baby later in life.”

When I was 25, I used to think, If I’m not married with a baby by 30, I’m a failure. I’ve lost it. But then I got older and my career picked up. I didn’t know that I was going to want to go fully in on my career. I didn’t realize how much I loved being fully independent. It’s not selfish to say, “I’m picking myself.” It’s about what feels right in your gut, what makes you happy and where you feel most aligned.

“We don’t need the timeline that existed in the 1960s. We don’t have to live in a world where you have to get married and have a baby by 35.”

Now, at 32, what do you think about the timeline you were on?

I was really scared about turning 30. I hated the concept of being out of my 20s. Everyone said being 30 wasn’t any different than being 29, but I feel like there is a drastic change. I feel like your whole mindset really does change from 30 to now being 32. I feel completely different than I did at 26, when I was on a timeline. I don’t think about a timeline as goal-achieving, I now think about it more as, What could potentially be happening in my life at 39? It’s not good or bad, it just is.

And to be honest, something that really released a lot of stress for me was knowing that I’ll be freezing my eggs. Biologically, there’s a timeline put on women, but we have science and modern medicine. Why aren’t we automatically taught about egg freezing in health class? I truly think every girl should be freezing their eggs at 25, if that’s when our fertility is at its peak. But it should be covered by insurance. This is not elective. We don’t need the timeline that existed in the 1960s. We’re on different paths now. We don’t have to live in a world where you have to get married and have a baby by 35, or else you’re geriatric.

Does being in the public eye add a whole other element?

I’ve had to let that go years ago. Being in the public eye is a two-week news cycle. I can’t make life decisions based on what Jackie in Iowa thinks. In two weeks, she won’t be thinking about me, but it’s my life. I don’t even really take being in the public into consideration because when I’m 75, I’m not going to be in the public eye, and I’m going to be stuck with the decisions I made.

What you’re saying makes total sense, but a breakup is never easy.

It was truly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been getting a lot of flack with people saying, “Oh, Paige should have ended her relationship earlier.” But I was living through it. I was going through feelings in real time, and I’m sure subconsciously what was keeping me from doing it was knowing that no matter what, in a breakup, the girl is going to get torn apart. I knew that going into it. So yeah, I was nervous.

After you announced your breakup on Giggly Squad, how did you take care of yourself?

I hung out with my girlfriends a lot and tried to get out of the house and do things. It was the first time I was doing things as a single person. Even normal things, like walking down the street, felt different, because you could meet anyone at any time. I kind of had to rewire my brain because I’m not getting home and calling my boyfriend for an hour and a half on the phone. I organized my apartment, I relabeled everything. I just had to reprogram my brain to be like, Okay, I’m single.

Did you go off social media during that time?

Yes and no. With Instagram, I feel like once I post something, it’s no longer mine. It now belongs to the internet. I try not to look at comments as much as I can, but I’m also human. If I want to look at something, I’m going to freaking look at it.

Probably the most frustrating thing is feeling like you’re misunderstood, but correcting everyone is a full-time job. I think part of growing up is being okay with being misunderstood. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m like, It’s okay if you don’t get me. If I met you in real life, I probably wouldn’t get you either.

One scene from this season of Summer House that struck a chord with audiences was when you and Kyle Cook get into a big argument, but your concern is how it will affect your relationship with his wife, Amanda Batula, who happens to be one of your best friends. You cry and say to Amanda, “I’m a lot of things, but a bad friend is not fucking one of them.”

I always try to be the type of friend that I would want to have. I call myself a “low-maintenance friend.” If you want to cancel on me? Amazing. Nothing better. I love to be canceled on. If you don’t text me back? I’m not looking for you; you’re busy. That’s what I mean by a low-maintenance friend. And with Amanda and Summer House specifically, we’ve been friends now for eight years. We’ve gone through this very unique experience together that we will never be able to talk to anyone about unless they were in that house with us. We’re bonded already in so many ways, and I just love her as a person. I would never let anything get in between us.

You’ve made it very clear that at this point in your life, you’re prioritizing your career. Who or what gave you permission to do that?

I’m very fortunate in that my parents were never like, “Okay, when are you going to settle down and have a family?” So I’m never really pressured with that question in my personal life. No one gave me permission to do anything. It’s just like I wake up one day and I’m like, Okay, well, I don’t like that, so I’m not doing it.

But a lot of people don’t do that—they keep doing the thing, or being with the person, even if deep down they don’t want to.

I think the biggest freedom is being financially independent. It truly is. I feel like none of the decisions I’ve made in my early 30s are any different than a man’s. And that’s what makes them mad. If a 32-year-old man said he wasn’t ready to settle down because he has a couple more years in his career, everyone would be like, “And we’ll give you an award!” Men love acknowledgement for things that they should naturally do. Men love being like, “Well, I’m not a cheater.” Congratulations. You’re not supposed to be! Women don’t get that grace.

Your personal style is very feminine and you love fashion, and for some crazy reason that can sometimes be seen as in conflict with being taken seriously in your career.

I think that’s why the term influencer gets a lot of flack, especially with women. If influencers were primarily men, it would be seen as an innovative new career that’s taken over the advertising industry. But because it’s all female, it’s nonsense.

And by the way, in this instance, influencer means selling out New York City’s Radio City, hosting the Vanity Fair Oscar Party livestream, writing a bestselling book, and launching a fashion line…

When I first started Summer House, I knew that it was a means to something else. I always saw it as a stepping stone. I knew I wanted to put out some type of product, but I’ve watched Bravo people put out different lines, and knew that I was never going to put something out that I wasn’t connected to. I’ve had companies come to me and suggest a fragrance or jewelry line, but none of that was ever really me.

One summer I got this “lazy girl” edit, and instead of fighting it or being like, No, that’s really not me, I really work a lot, I leaned into it. If you come to my house on a normal Saturday afternoon, I’m probably in bed lounging. Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to have a clothing line, but I knew that if I had put something out years prior, it wouldn’t really hit the same. I kind of felt that in my gut; I wasn’t qualified or confident enough to create it.

It’s like knowing the exact right time for a breakup.

Yes! Your body knows. I’ve never made a big decision and looked back and felt that I got the timing wrong. I really feel that everything has worked when it was supposed to. And it’s the same with my upcoming line, which I’ve been working on for almost two years now. It encompasses everything I love—fashion and lounging.

As your career continues to grow, how are you making time for your friendships and dating?

I’m traveling all the time. Right now, I’m truly not focused on dating. I feel like it’s when you’re not looking for it that it happens. I’m not going to rush into anything new. I just got out of something for three years. But I am obviously out there dating; I’m just kind of taking a beat.

I’ve done multiple girls’ trips over the last three months and gone out to dinner with my girlfriends. It’s also the little things. One of my girlfriends drives a lot for work, so she’ll call me when she’s in the car. It’s these little check-ins that fulfill me. You can have fulfilling relationships and not be focused on a man.

I hope this question doesn’t bother you, but when the time comes, do you know what you’re looking for in a romantic partner?

No, probably not. I think anything that I was looking for could have been superficial, or what I thought I needed, but not what I truly needed. I think whoever I date next seriously will just fit with me seamlessly. Obviously, I’ve had a running list in my phone of things I’ve wanted in a guy since I was 21 years old, and that’s psychotic. Some things of course are deal-breakers—you don’t want to be dating a sociopath—but there’s nothing I’m specifically looking for. I just want it to fit.

Do you still have that list on your phone?

Things have been taken off and added to this list, but I would say the last time I looked at it was probably a year and a half ago. I mean, it’s long. It honestly feels more like a kind of a manifestation list. Like, these are the things I like, and it would be cool if he liked those things too.

Does the list feel like it reflects Paige in 2025, or is it more like looking through an old journal and cringing?

It’s a little bit of both. [Scrolls through the list.] Like this one: Yes, I definitely need someone who laughs at my jokes. But do I need someone who sleeps with the window open? No. And I need someone who understands my anxiety. That one’s serious.

The window open thing was on your list?

Yeah, it’s on there!

You just brought up your anxiety, and it’s something you regularly talk about on your podcast, but often through humor, which I assume is a bit of a defense mechanism.

One hundred percent.

Is anxiety something that you’ve struggled with before fame, or is it something newer for you?

I’ve definitely gotten more anxious since being on a national television show. I’m a couple of months out from my first—and thankfully, only—panic attack. When it happened, I FaceTimed my mom, took a beta blocker from a friend, and was able to go onstage. As soon as I got off the stage, I called my doctor and got a prescription. I keep them in my bag, but I really only think about taking them when I’m going to be speaking publicly or doing some kind of interview. But do I need them to go to the grocery store? No.

I’m thankful that I have the kind of relationship with my body that I know when I feel unaligned. If I’m ignoring something in my head, my body truly will not let me get away with it. I think that’s part of really knowing myself, going to therapy, and talking about things. So when I do something that strays from that, my body is like, That’s not what you really want. Stop being a coward and stand up.

I once had a boyfriend who brought up getting engaged, and I literally broke out into hives at that exact moment. I remember thinking, This is so embarrassing, but thank God my body responded that way. When I had my panic attack the second weekend of Giggly Squad touring, I knew exactly what it was. I knew that I was making decisions for my future that I wasn’t fully aligned in, and I had to immediately rectify them.

Have you been watching yourself on this season of Summer House? Watching your relationship this season, and knowing that you end up breaking up, is like following breadcrumbs for viewers.

We get screeners, and I actually don’t watch them until I send them to my mom first. She’ll recap anything she thinks I should know about, and of course, I ask her how I was. She’ll always say, “Perfect, as always,” and then it eases me into it. Watching it back is definitely hard, because I didn’t realize how emotional I actually was this summer. I see my brain working overtime, and I can tell by how my eyes look that I’m psychoanalyzing every single thing I’m feeling, saying, and doing. I don’t think I would’ve been able to be this vulnerable in this stage of my life had I not been on a reality show for seven years. I’m very proud of myself, because what you see is authentically who I was this summer. It’s inconceivable to people that anyone would break up with a man over six feet tall, with a job, who wants to marry them. People are like, “She’s the devil. How could she do that to him?”

Did you get positive comments as well?

Definitely. I got a lot of girls being like, “I just broke up with my boyfriend of eight years.” I’m like, Okay, well, that wasn’t my exact message.…

Do you feel any kind of way about trusting new friends or guys you’re dating who might just be out for a slice of the influencer world?

Not really. Maybe if I had gotten famous in my early 20s, I would have felt that way, but I don’t do anything. If you want to become my friend, you’re really not going to get much out of me. I don’t go anywhere. The only perk I could give you is skin care.

But you do go places. You go to premieres, you hosted the Vanity Fair Oscar Party livestream, for one…

That’s true. Thank God I haven’t really had situations where I’m like, I should cut that [friend] off, she’s using me. But I think that’s probably why I wouldn’t go on the dating apps to meet a guy, because men can be gold diggers too. I want my next man to get what I do, but also have no interest in it at all.

Is there a point where you feel like you might want to stop being on reality TV?

There’s an end date for me at some point. With the lifestyle of Summer House specifically, I’m probably not fitting into the original show idea anymore. Whenever I see a comment that’s like, “She’s a little too old to be on this,” I’m like, Yeah, I kind of am. I’m probably not as fun to party with as a 25-year-old, and I get that. I would stay on reality TV, but it’s only fun and real if it’s your lifestyle, and as I get older, I am straying away more and more from partying every weekend. I really can’t drink two nights in a row; I will pass away. I was actually nervous for this season to come out because I felt like I didn’t do anything this summer because I was so tired from working.

Would you ever want to graduate to Real Housewives of New York?

Housewives is such an established franchise, I think it would be very hard for me to assimilate. I would never say never, but it’s not something I’m working toward.

When you’re feeling anxious, what do you do to cope?

Honestly, not being on my phone helps a lot. I love being in my apartment. And getting a cat has been my number one best tip for anxiety. It sounds cliché to try to be in the moment, but it really is true. The things I was worried about during that panic attack had nothing to do with that actual night. I thought it was stage fright. But I don’t have stage fright—I love attention.

Photographer: Caroline Tompkins
Stylist: Maren Taylor
Hair: Mitchell Ramazon
Makeup: Taylor Fitzgerald
Special Thanks: Piglet in Bed