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Very often, we are our own obstacles to happiness, particularly through negative or toxic thoughts that we entertain without even realizing it. Certain habits thus prevent us from bringing a little joy into our daily lives and thus deprive us of a fulfilling life. Among these behaviors, one of them is particularly harmful to our well-being, as reported by Harvard Professor Tal Ben-Shahar: it is the fact of constantly comparing ourselves with others.
What is this toxic behavior to banish to be happier in life?
Comparing ourselves to others is a natural human tendency. However, when it becomes systematic, it can seriously harm our perception of ourselves and our own path. People who live in perpetual comparison often end up feeling dissatisfied, even when their life is objectively positive. They enter into a silent competition and forget that in reality, each individual follows a unique path. This illusory quest for “better” gradually distances them from gratitude and contentment.
This behavior is usually fueled by a lack of self-confidence and deep insecurities. Social networks amplify this phenomenon by showing us idealized moments of other people’s lives. Seeing images of exotic trips, professional successes or idyllic romantic relationships scroll by, some people feel a certain form of frustration with their own daily lives. We sometimes forget that these publications only represent a filtered facet of reality and that behind it, it is possible that these people are also going through difficult or less pleasant moments that they do not share publicly.
How to stop comparing yourself to others?
To achieve true happiness, it is therefore essential to look away from others and focus on yourself. Rather than dwelling on what others have or accomplish, it is more constructive to focus on your own progress and on the small victories of everyday life. Setting personal goals, cultivating gratitude and learning to celebrate your successes, no matter how small: that is pretty much all it takes to cultivate your own happiness. Taking a step back, reducing the time you spend scrolling on social networks and practicing activities in real life also helps to strengthen self-esteem and break this toxic cycle of comparison.