Is Fear Of Re-Entry Ruining The Last Days Of Summer?

I knew something was wrong on the second day of my longed-for summer holiday. Instead of playing with my children in the pool or getting stuck into a book on a sun-lounger, I was gloomily counting down the days until we flew home. I had been looking forward to the trip for months – a chance to get away from the daily grind of work and domestic life – but once I was there, all I could do was worry about how I’d feel when I got home.

There’s nothing more bittersweet than the end of summer – that last glass of rosé by the pool – but when does your back-to-reality dread become something sinister?

I’m not the only one to feel the fear. A survey last year found that 78% of workers feel anxious returning from work after time off, and many fail to disconnect from work while they’re away. ‘A degree of back-to-work reluctance is completely normal. There is a real contrast between the sense of freedom and greater autonomy over our days on holiday and the high responsibilities and mental load waiting for us when we return,’ says SaraLou Wylie, a former GP and women’s life coach specialising in burnout and overwhelm.
‘But sometimes the dread is about more than simply preferring holiday to work,’ she says. ‘While we are away, we may step outside all the roles we normally carry: leader, parent, organiser or problem-solver. As the return approaches, our brain begins bringing that entire mental load back online – we are anticipating the version of ourselves we feel we must become again.’

Charlotte Davies, career expert at LinkedIn, thinks unwinding on holiday is now a dying art. ‘We are permanently online as professionals,’ she says. ‘While I think there are so many benefits to hybrid working, there is also this blurred kind of boundary between work and personal life.’

A separate study found that 66% of us work longer hours to compensate for the ‘break’ we’re about to have – which is familiar to me, as I work on double-speed in the run-up to taking annual leave. I’ve been known to smugly log off for a holiday with a full handover and inbox at zero, only to find myself totally wired as I step off the plane.

‘Unfortunately, this compounds the problem,’ says Wylie. ‘You arrive completely depleted and spend the first few days trying to come down from the adrenaline. Just as you begin to relax, your mind starts anticipating the return to “normal” and everything it brings.’

When work is intense, the pressure to have the perfect holiday also ramps up. ‘The more stressful life has got, the more I’ve fetishised my holidays,’ agrees Maya, 42, who works in finance. ‘But now that two-week break has become the main event of the year. The pressure to have a great time and justify the rest of the year’s work stress can ruin the whole thing. If my kids or husband are grumpy I totally over-react. If we can’t enjoy ourselves on a beach in the sunshine, then what hope is there the rest of the time?’

Then there’s the expense. Data suggests the cost of a family holiday has increased by between 30% and 50% over the last 10 years. So no wonder pressure has also mounted. The last thing you want from this precious break is to come back just as tired as you left.

So how can you banish fear of re-entry or, at the very least, stop it ruining your trip? Davies says that what causes much of the anxiety is not knowing what you’re going to come back to, so work out in advance what must be done before your holiday, what can wait and who will cover urgent issues in your absence. Then set a clear out-of-office message.

If you’re still anxious, you have a more serious burnout on your hands. ‘Do you also get the Sunday scaries? Are you being impacted by a poor workplace culture, a mismatching role, for example? Do you need to reassess your boundaries? It could be that you need to have a career conversation with yourself,’ says Davies.

If we can no longer holiday well and enjoy our time offline with loved ones, then we all need to have a conversation with ourselves. As for me, I’m trying to take the pressure off my next holiday being ‘perfect’ and put more emphasis on not feeling totally depleted before I get there. I plan to start September feeling like I’ve had a break, not like I’m ready for a breakdown.